I’m short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own. (Play it Again Sam) I’m really a timid person – I was beaten up by Quakers. (Sleepers) My brain – it’s my second favorite organ. (Sleeper) Q. Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? A. Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once [...]
Monthly Archives: January 2010
Funny Albert Einstein Quotes
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the [...]
Posted in Funny Quotes Leave a comment
Random Funny Quotes
Ideas don’t stay in some minds very long because they don’t like solitary confinement. If there is a “WILL”, there are 500 relatives. “Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.” – Al Bundy
Posted in Funny Quotes Leave a comment
Funny Wife Quotes
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. -Milton Berle The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman I bought my wife a [...]
Posted in Funny Quotes Comments closed
Funny Men Quotes
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. Oscar Wilde *** Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. Oscar Wilde *** The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland *** On [...]
Posted in Funny Quotes Comments closed
Life Quotes
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. G. K. Chesterton I don’t care what is written about me as long as it isn’t true. Katherine Hepburn Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. Groucho Marx
Posted in Famous Funny Quotes, Funny Life Quotes, Funny Quotes Comments closed